Guess who's back, back again?

What year is this?! Who’s the president?! Yes, it’s been rather a while hasn’t it? A couple of years by my reckoning. So where have I been? Was I kidnapped by aliens mid cycle? Did I fall down a well during a run and have only just been rescued by Lassie?

"There's a boy in the well. He's not well and feeling ruff."

Did I get such a horrendous case of man-flu that I’ve only just been able to struggle out of bed? Did I decide that triathlon wasn’t for me anymore?

Er, no. What actually happened is that I got out of the habit of writing this blog and just thought I’d pick it up next week. Next week came around, I didn’t write anything and I put it off until next week.

And then the next thing I know Donald Trump is president and we’re on the brink of nuclear war!

Well, maybe not. But you don’t come here for my political insight, you come here to read about an overweight man in his 30s, trying to not make a fool of himself every time he pulls on the lycra (which by its very definition is an instant fail!)

The picture that launched a thousand modelling contracts

So what have I been doing for the last few years and has much changed in my life? Well, you’ll be glad to know that while I haven’t been writing this blog, I have still been getting my hands dirty in the world of Tri.

In November 2015 (Jesus, it really has been a while hasn’t it?!) I decided to have a crack at what is known as middle distance or Half Iron Distance and entered the Vitruvian triathlon. So after several months of training in September 2016 I successfully became a Vitruvian (or a “Baboobian” as Trihard Jr 2 called it).

That’s right, it’s been so long that the artist formerly known as Toddler Trihard is now almost eight, so we’ll refer to her as Trihard Jr 1. Baby Trihard is now five and at school, so we’ll refer to him as Trihard Jr 2.

So where was I? That’s right - last year I earned the honour to be named a Vitruvian. While that was a massive highlight in my triathlon accomplishments so far, it perhaps doesn’t take the title of the best race of last season. That accolade goes to the Bishop’s Castle Tandem Triathlon.

This involved me swimming 1km, taking to the tandem with my partner for a 40km cycle (with approximately one minute of tandem experience between us, which we’d gained earlier that morning), him taking on the 10km cross country run and then one final sprint on the tandem to the finishing line.

So who was that mystery partner? Well it was a man who needs no introduction (unless you haven’t read this blog before, which is probably most of you), a man who recently broke his 5km pushing a buggy PB, a man who immediately declared he was going to be putting in more brick training sessions (a run directly after a cycle), that’s right, it’s Smug Running Guy aka SRG.

For all you new readers, SRG is one of my oldest friends who I used to get up to all sorts of no good with in my teens. And twenties. And thirties.

It's amazing the range of novelty hats you can buy at a Guns n' Roses gig

However, in the last five years he has turned himself into a finely honed running machine. When I started writing the blog he said he wanted to be mentioned, but was worried that he’d come across as “some Smug Running Guy”. And hey presto, SRG was born.

So how did we do in the Bishop’s Castle Tandem Triathlon? Well that’s certainly a story for a future post. So you’ll have to wait patiently.

So, I’m still around, SRG is still around as is Trihard Jrs 1 and 2 and the love of my life, Mrs Trihard.

Has anything changed? Well something has changed recently. Just under three months ago I decided that I wanted to have a break from alcohol. There are many reasons for this, which I will undoubtedly go into in a future post, but one of those reasons was that I feel alcohol holds me back in my triathlon adventures.

While I’d only drink once or twice a week, I’d find it difficult to moderate when I did have a drink. It not only meant that I’d be lying on the sofa when I should be out training, I found it near impossible to lose weight. The high of finishing a event would soon be replaced with frustration and regret and the thought of “how much quicker would I be if I hadn’t been drinking the last few weeks and had lost more weight?”

As a result I have discovered this amazing group One Year No Beer. Again, this is something I will go into more detail about in future posts but (hyperbole alert!) I think this group has seriously changed my life.

At the time of writing (11/9/17) I have not had a drink for 81 days (not that I’m counting!!!) which has meant a lot more calories burned off and a lot less put in. I initially signed up for a 90 day challenge but have entered a duathlon in November so will be staying dry, certainly until then.

This will take me to around 135 days of being alcohol free. Will I return to drinking after my duathlon? I don’t know.

All I do know is that I feel better than I have in years, have found an amazing network of people and am finally becoming the person I want to be.

I still don't have the figure of Chris Froome or a Brownlee but today I am wearing a jumper that I haven’t been able to squeeze into for a decade!

Anyway, it’s good to be back and the aim is to update the blog once a week as soon as I can pry my laptop out of Lassie’s mouth. Catch up soon!